master nengxu: everything is only the mind

i, who has entered middle age, did not want to contact any information about my faith before. in 2013, my mother-in-law's family members suffered a lot of pain and powerlessness. this was why i gradually touched the power of faith and became a new member of the other side cihang.

that year, my husband's elder brother went to the hospital for examination because of discomfort, and was diagnosed with nasopharyngeal cancer. my family was very scared and took him to a large hospital for treatment. his condition improved for the first round and he went home to recuperate. not long after, my father-in-law started to feel uncomfortable again and went to the hospital for examination. it turned out that he had liver cirrhosis, the more serious one. so my husband took him to the hospital for treatment and took medicine at home for a long time after he was discharged.

later, my elder brother's illness relapsed in the second round and he went to the hospital for treatment again. during the hospitalization of the elder brother, my mother-in-law went to visit her and broke her leg due to accidentally falling on the way. she was also admitted to the hospital. because my mother-in-law has diabetes and heart disease, the hospital did not provide surgery, so she had to go home to rest after a period of treatment. at this time, i took my son to live in my mother-in-law's house, cooked for the family and took care of them.

every day when i look at my family’s pain, my heart is like a knife, and the feeling of irritability and depression cannot come out. i feel that life is suffering, and it is meaningless.

however, the pain was not over yet. one day my husband also came to tell me that he had been feeling uncomfortable for a long time and did not tell his family because he was taking care of his elder brother in the hospital. so a classmate of my husband and i took him to the hospital, and the examination result was also nasopharyngeal cancer! i looked at the result and my mind was blank, and i stood there blankly for a long time. is my husband a strong man, or did he pull me down from the hospital building?

when we got home, we didn't close our eyes all night and discussed how to treat him. at that time, my family was in financial difficulties and everyone was sick and spent a lot of money, so i decided to sell our own house for treatment. the house was advertised for sale, and relatives and husbands' classmates came to help us when they found out. we took this thanksgiving to the hospital for treatment, and it was gratifying that the doctor was very dedicated to my husband's treatment.

during the radio and chemotherapy, my husband was tortured by potions and electricity, and his neck was roasted to death without skin, exposed flesh and blood, and his weight changed from 160 kilograms to 101 kilograms, just like he had become a different person. my husband was sick and worried about his family, and he had an extremely irritable temper. i naturally became the target of his anger and a pressure relief bucket. my heart is almost desperate, and i feel that life is caused by suffering.

more than a month later, i accompanied my husband to go home with me. when i saw my son's hair was long and dirty, he would not go if anyone took him to get a haircut. i just waited for my father to come back and went home. i felt so sad.

i went back to my original store to work, and my husband was resting at home.

when i returned to the store, a new shopping guide happened to come. she always brought a book to work and read when she was free. i was very curious and went over to read it and found that she was reading a buddhist scripture published in the four sutras. i asked her:
what do you think this can do? she said:
i heard others tell you about your family affairs in the store, which are all karma diseases. you can read this book, it is a buddhist scripture.

i opened this book with curiosity. for some reason, the moment i opened the buddhist scriptures, my heart was very peaceful and i hadn't experienced this feeling for a long time. i flipped through pages, my eyes swept quickly, but i felt so comfortable! my colleague reminded me:
you should read the scriptures slowly and be respectful.

so i stayed at the page i turned to, and the "amitabha sutra" came into my eyes. after looking at it for a while, i was thinking about it, this place is so good, can i go there? as my thoughts came, tears immediately surged out, and i seemed to have found a warm harbor when i was helpless! i liked the mantra of rebirth after the scriptures. i read it several times and said to my colleagues:
i seem to be able to memorize this mantra. colleague said:
ok, you recite it to me. i really recited it. my colleague said happily:
you come and study buddhism. anyone who has been cured after studying buddhism can get sick. but i was still hesitant. can i keep my family from getting sick by studying buddhism? there are a series of question marks in my mind.

after get off work, when i finished the housework and sat down to rest, my husband was watching tv. i took the remote control and adjusted the station at will. coincidentally, a channel was playing a large-scale documentary "the story of the western regions of the great tang dynasty", which tells the difficult journey of master xuanzang overcame various difficulties and reaching india. i was moved by the master's firm belief and cried several times. if buddhism was not that good, how could the master sacrifice himself for the dharma without fearing all kinds of difficulties and obstacles!

so, i made up my mind to study buddhism and went to my colleague and said:
please help me invite some buddhist scriptures. what should i do if i still don’t understand? i'll have a lot of questions to ask. she said:
let me introduce you to a senior brother who has learned buddhism well! so, i met a local lay buddhist and told him all the questions, so he gave me a scripture broadcaster. when i went home, i opened it and heard it. it was the monk da'an who preached. i often listened with tears in my eyes, and i felt more and more warm and happy! knowing that donglin's ancestral temple built a big buddha, i participated in a fundraising event. although i only provided meager money, i was happy for several days!

later, when i went to a local temple for the first time to attend a dharma assembly, i saw a statue of master yin guang in the temple. i went to worship and didn't dare to look at master yin's eyes, but i still wanted to see it. my tears flowed out, and my heart was very warm. then i invited master yin guang’s literature and notes to read it. later, i often learned about donglin temple. when i watched the video of the donglin buddha consecrating the dharma assembly, i burst into tears, as if i had seen a long-lost relative and heard amitabha calling me:
child, go home, it’s so hard to wander outside! as a result, my belief in learning buddhism has become stronger and no longer shaken! the pure land dharma takes root and sprouts in my heart, and i will definitely go to the pure land in this life!

during my time studying buddhism, my father-in-law's condition worsened and died. a year later, my elder brother also passed away. i recited scriptures and chanted buddha's name for them, did buddhist rituals, and deeply felt the speed of impermanence and speed. i knew how terrible it was to not understand the cause and effect and reincarnation and not find the method of liberation! later, my mother-in-law also went to the hospital for examination due to poor health, and was diagnosed with advanced gastric cancer. the doctor said she could only live for half a year at most. she was too weak to radiotherapy and chemotherapy, so she could only treat conservatively and maintain it naturally.

so my mother-in-law said:
recite the buddha’s name! he recorded the counters and buddhist beads for her, and also gave her master da'an's preaching machine to listen to, and advised her to go to the temple to cultivate blessings more. i usually have to go to work and can't always accompany her to the temple, so she just recites the buddha's name by herself. my mother-in-law passed away this year, and lived for more than two years longer than the doctor said. she left peacefully, as if she was asleep.

my mother-in-law's family closed their eyes in front of me one by one, and my husband and i gave them the last trip. the performance of these impermanence dramas made me feel that there is nothing that belongs to me in the world and i can't keep anything! i deeply know that without the blessing of buddha's power, my family will not stop suffering from illness, and i am grateful to the great masters who have always encouraged me during this period! thank you to the lotus friends who chant buddha’s name with me!

in fact, i am also a patient with severe anemia. because i have been chanting buddha's name, i no longer need to take specific injections every year, just take some medicine. if your destiny is not over, you will live a good life. if your destiny is over, you will follow your kind father amitabha buddha to the western paradise. in short, you will never be afraid or confused again. studying and reciting the buddha's name has made my life improve and i have gained purity, peace and happiness. the saying of namo amitabha buddha will accompany me for the rest of my life, and i will be in peace in this world and be able to go to the pure land after my life. what a great luck!

my husband is in good health now and can maintain normal work. at first he opposed me from studying buddhism, but now he understands and supports me. i am also silently praying for the power of the buddha to bless him to learn buddhism and recite buddha earlier. now the child left by my elder brother is in college and has become a member of my family. i hope our family can become a buddhist family. when my son graduated from high school, i would like to take my husband and two children to the warm donglin temple to participate in the practical practice activities, praying for the blessings and protection of buddhas and bodhisattvas. they can believe in buddhism as soon as possible!

although my family’s illness and suffering have brought me the hardships of life, i am grateful for these pains. it is these experiences that have allowed me to hear the dharma and understand that my ultimate destination is the pure land. if you achieve success and have the ability, you can help your family and all sentient beings with fate to get rid of suffering and gain happiness. this is just like this in the world. there is no peace in the three realms. only by chanting the buddha’s name honestly and vowing to be reborn in the pure land of ultimate bliss can the ultimate perfect liberation! thank you to the three jewels and to the lotus friends! may we follow the buddha's words and ancestors, uphold the precepts and chant the buddha's family style, believe in and wish, and chant the buddha's name together!

《pure land》2019 issue 5 huiming